Bottomless (Wishing) Well.

Yuhuuuuiii..... I'm back.

SO! There's a LOT of things that had happened to me in these past 22 days, a LOT I tells yah. I don't even know where to start but bear with me, no matter how acakadul it'd be, well... I'm trying. :P

First, amazing things happened during my days at Tangerang General Hospital (Rumah Sakit Umum Tangerang, for you who'd rather read things in Indonesian. RSUT, for you who'd rather to call it that way :P). BUT! If there's anything that deserves the tag 'headline' during my stay there, it'll be...*in Spongebob-in-awe mode* ...the action of the Maaagic Hook!

Hells yeah. Imagine a small hook (but not small enough to be used as a fork-replacement) being jabbed into your mouth,being pushed up into your cheek, and the end of it came out right next to one of your eye. Shiver shiver, I know. Well... that was quite a show. Pretty dramatic too if you asked me, since the patients were like screaming God's name beneath the brutality. Why didn't I record that? Damn.


Second, 2 days ago was mom's birthday. Except the fact that I forgot to make my very own greeting card for mom's gift due to my sleepiness, nothing much happened that day. We ate pizza, we burped like barbarians, then we went home and snored. Nothing that much of a story really...

Okay, so I avoid a thing, which is our third issue.

Third, tonite (or last nite, rather) is like... I dunno, it's like I'm being pulled by two poles. In these past two weeks, when I wasn't in touch with the time, I was completely in a different world. I marched to the beat of a different song and it scares me how it could happen so fast. I was like, 'My Giddy aunt, have I been living in denial in these past 5 years??!' It was very easy and it was quite fun. I need no adaptation whatsoever. (Well, maybe because it's an easy, light thing... y'know, while in these 5 mothaf*in years I've been living in hell, torturing myself everyday AND--to my nightmare--loving it.)

I was like, 'Oh crap, where the hell did the true rocker in me go??!' because I start listening to things that the other side of me would think as a truly cheap music that only be listened by airheads! But now that I'm in touch with the time again, things flipped 180 degree. It confuses me, but it gives me much to think about, and much to write about really. I don't wanna hurt anyone, including myself, but I know that'd be impossible... because I've put myself in a place where there's no way out that doesn't hurt.

And due to my ego, I know I'd sacrifice anyone but myself.

Hate me if you must, I'm just trying to be honest and fair. People don't deserve the truth about me, but time does. There's just too many things to talk about. It be a neverending questions and thoughts, since I've learned that I'll never ever found them answers. It'd be like a bottomless well. I'll never found a ground for me to stand on.


I don't know in which world I want to live in. I don't want to lose them both. I don't want to choose. Not wanting to to choose IS a choice, right?


Time for me to sleep.



Ps. Nyunyuuu.... niat nge-blog ga sih? Kenapa ga ada postingan baru coba??

Pps. Gudibak! Cieeeh.... sampe segitunya-kah? Hehehe...

Ppps. 'Manuuusiaaa juga rockeeer, rasaaa punyaaa hati punyaaa...' (Gahar, gahar dah...)